About 4 months ago I made a very last minute decision to take a gap year. My original plan (which I was never truly passionate about) was to get my grades and study Business Management at Cardiff University. It was simple. It was normal. It was safe.
I found as I went through my last year of school my motivation dropping, I was completely uninterested in school, when the opportunity presented it self for me not to be there I wasn't. The last few months I was probably in school for 3 days a week.
In the months between the end of exams and results day, I went through waves of emotions, I was so scared to not do the straight forward thing and go and get my 'safe' degree.
I was bombarded with everyone else's opinions. 'But you can always give it ago and leave after the first year', 'you'll have plenty of time when you finish uni', 'but if you don't go, you might never go'. They confused me and made me think that their opinions where my own, of course they did not intend this and are just trying to look out for my best interest, but in the process I lost my own thoughts and rationality. In the end I just took a leap of faith. I deferred my entry to Swansea University (I didn't get into Cardiff due to my lack of motivation in my last year in school) and I jumped into the unknown. My only plan being 'I need to travel this year'.
I became more motivated as I was able to focus on what I need to achieve to make this experience worth while.
I did work experience as a Marketing Assistant for a few months along side my weekend job as a waitress. This job didn't inspire me, working in an office was not my thing but thanks to my gap year I found this out before I finished a degree which could have inevitably landed me in an office job. I am grateful for this experience.
This work experience lead to me gaining a full time job through recommendation as a PA for a Financial Advisor. I knew this was not something that would inspire me greatly as I has already learned, however, it paid well and I am so focused on saving to send me on my travels next year.
So here I am now I work 6 days a week, 5 in an office and 1 day as a waitress, I save my money and most of my friends are in university. Its scary, it is sometimes lonely but it has taught me so much about myself, what I want and what I don't want.
I have learned about how important it is to stay in contact with those you love, I have learned that a lot of people are blind to the fakeness of 'reality', I have learned how to forgive people and be happy for those who hurt you or leave our lives, I have learned how important it is to take responsibility for your own actions and to learn from those mistakes. I have learned that what is right for me may not be right for another person and the need to accept peoples differences.
I have learned about who I am as a person, I am an environmentalist, I am a very empathetic person, I am obsessed with the idea of freedom, I don't want much money and I want to change the world.
But the most important thing I have learned is to MAKE MISTAKES. They make you grow as a person, the show you what you want and what you don't want, don't ever regret your mistakes (unless, you know, you've killed someone or something) learn from them.
So the truth is, I still don't know what I am doing. I don't think I ever will. Maybe I will be in university next year, we will see where my mistakes take me! But for now I am planning, preparing and enjoying the small moments with people I love.
Peace
