Why everyone should take a gap year

About 4 months ago I made a very last minute decision to take a gap year. My original plan (which I was never truly passionate about) was to get my grades and study Business Management at Cardiff University. It was simple. It was normal. It was safe.

I found as I went through my last year of school my motivation dropping, I was completely uninterested in school, when the opportunity presented it self for me not to be there I wasn't. The last few months I was probably in school for 3 days a week.

In the months between the end of exams and results day, I went through waves of emotions, I was so scared to not do the straight forward thing and go and get my 'safe' degree.
I was bombarded with everyone else's opinions. 'But you can always give it ago and leave after the first year', 'you'll have plenty of time when you finish uni', 'but if you don't go, you might never go'. They confused me and made me think that their opinions where my own, of course they did not intend this and are just trying to look out for my best interest, but in the process I lost my own thoughts and rationality. In the end I just took a leap of faith. I deferred my entry to Swansea University (I didn't get into Cardiff due to my lack of motivation in my last year in school) and I jumped into the unknown. My only plan being 'I need to travel this year'.
I became more motivated as I was able to focus on what I need to achieve to make this experience worth while.

I did work experience as a Marketing Assistant for a few months along side my weekend job as a waitress. This job didn't inspire me, working in an office was not my thing but thanks to my gap year I found this out before I finished a degree which could have inevitably landed me in an office job. I am grateful for this experience.
This work experience lead to me gaining a full time job through recommendation as a PA for a Financial Advisor. I knew this was not something that would inspire me greatly as I has already learned, however, it paid well and I am so focused on saving to send me on my travels next year.
So here I am now I work 6 days a week, 5 in an office and 1 day as a waitress, I save my money and most of my friends are in university. Its scary, it is sometimes lonely but it has taught me so much about myself, what I want and what I don't want.

I have learned about how important it is to stay in contact with those you love, I have learned that a lot of people are blind to the fakeness of 'reality', I have learned how to forgive people and be happy for those who hurt you or leave our lives, I have learned how important it is to take responsibility for your own actions and to learn from those mistakes. I have learned that what is right for me may not be right for another person and the need to accept peoples differences.
I have learned about who I am as a person, I am an environmentalist, I am a very empathetic person, I am obsessed with the idea of freedom, I don't want much money and I want to change the world.
But the most important thing I have learned is to MAKE MISTAKES. They make you grow as a person, the show you what you want and what you don't want, don't ever regret your mistakes (unless, you know, you've killed someone or something) learn from them.

So the truth is, I still don't know what I am doing. I don't think I ever will. Maybe I will be in university next year, we will see where my mistakes take me! But for now I am planning, preparing and enjoying the small moments with people I love.

Peace

Careers

Whenever someone asks me what I want to do my first answer is Travel. They then correct me and say what job I want to do and I honestly have no idea. I go to University next year to study Business Marketing but the truth is I hate materialism and corporatism. I don't really know if I want to go to university but the truth is I don't really have any other direction to go in. When I describe my dream job to someone it is to travel while saving animals and helping people. I have no idea if this job exists. I will never be able to become a vet as most people bring up in this situation because 1. I squirm in biology if my teacher just mentions the heart, and 2. I could never be the person who euthanizes an animal. I just couldn't do that. I want to build sanctuaries, stop poaching. I want to conserve and protect animals.

Since I was young what I wanted to be has evolved and changed. My earliest memory was to be the next Steve Irwin like most young animal lovers. I then grew up and realised I am not really very fond of zoo's. The next thing I remember was to do competitive horse riding and to teach horse riding and then I realised I am not very competitive. I then wanted to be a make up artist or designer and although I would still love to do these things I feel like I need to do something more meaningful. Now I am in this situation. I just know I've wanted to work with animals from a young age. I think what I need to remember is the people who know what they want to do with there career are very lucky people. The majority of us have no idea.

Schools are very good at putting pressure on you to decide what to do with your entire life. At the small age of 13/14 your are expected to know the direction you want to go in and that is so unrealistic. Then when you go to sixth form you are expected to go to university. I know less then a handful of people that are not going but they are still forced to sit through university lectures and student finance lectures like they are trying to make them feel bad about not going to university and that's bullshit. We shouldn't feel like we need to know what we want to do from when we're 14 years old. We grow and change. Situations change and what we want changes. I guess we just need to say fuck you to what the education system tells us and just do what we feel is right for us.

I really had no idea where this post was going. Good job I didn't want to be a journalist or a writer.

Wanderlust

The universe is so vast and that is an understatement. The fact that there are billions of stars out there with billions of planets surrounding them across thousands and thousands of galaxies completely boggles my mind. It is so incredible. Now I am no genius, my physics knowledge is limited so there is no way I will ever become an astronaut and be able to see first hand something other than our own little planet. I am also not rich enough to climb aboard one of Richard Branson's aircraft's and take a space holiday. This is what kind of inspired me to want to see everything. Yes, everything! I guess you can say my motto is 'if I can't see the universe I at least what to see the world'.

There are so many amazing places out there with amazing people with amazing stories to tell. I want to see the Northern Lights, I want to take a road trip across North America, dance in Rio, surf in Hawaii (by that I mean attempt to surf) and see the wild animals in Africa.

But this adventure I want to go on is a lonely one. Its hard to find a person who wants to go with you because they have their own dreams in life. I have recently discovered how much I may need to sacrifice for this dream, relationships, career, education. But its something I desperately dream of doing and although it sounds cheesy I don't think anyone should let anybody or anything get in the way of what they truly want to do.

LUSH cosmetics!

I am absolutely in love with the company lush and how could I not be. The products are cruelty free. The products are all vegetarian with a lot being vegan. They are amazing quality. Lush works to make sure they are fair trade. They campaign for equality and animals. I mean seriously how could you not love them. I own lots of lush goodies and I am going to share them all with you!

Bubblegum Lip Scrub            

This lip scrub is amazing for smoothing out the lips before applying lip balm, especially in the winter months (or in the UK all year round) as our lips get all chapped and flaky. It contains only 4 ingredients.
Caster sugar, Organic jojoba oil and Flavours Colour 45410 and Colour 45380.
The ingredients is what makes this product. The caster sugar means you are able to eat it after, it is so hard not to like your lips straight away.The Jojoba oil is used as a replacement to the oil that we get from whales. Woo for lush's ethics! Its amazing for softening things like hair cuticles and of course lips. And the colours simply do what it says on the tin, adds this beautiful and uplifting pink colour to the product.

This product is 100% suitable for vegans and the pot is made of glass so when you finish the product you can reuse it which is great.

This product retails on the lush website for £5.50

Link here:  https://www.lush.co.uk/products/bubblegum

Skindrink Facial Moisturiser

This moisturiser is great if you experience drying skin. I experience this a lot around my nose and forehead. With the rest of my face being combination. It leaves your face feeling smoother, less bumpy and rigid. It doesn't leave you feeling greasy after applying it even though it leaves a protective barrier to help the skin in hot or windy conditions and keep it from drying. So its definitely a moisturiser which will provide you with a good results whether it be after prolonged use and after even one use.

It contains 22 ingredients all of which are natural ingredients or safe synthetics and a lot of ingredients that occur naturally in essential oils. You can find the full list of ingredients and what they do on the LUSH website. But here is the main one :
Organic sesame oil, this ingredient is the part of the product which provides the  rehydration for the skin, it contains vitamin E and is made up of fatty acids.

This product contains lots of natural fat based ingredients which nourish and rehydrate the skin. The packaging can be recycled at a local lush store and reused and is also suitable for vegans. Awesome.

The product retails on the website for £11.95

Link here https://www.lush.co.uk/products/skin-drink

Breath of Fresh Air Toner Water 

Toners can be used to end your skin care routine before applying moisture to help wipe away any of the dirt left on the skin and help balance the skins natural pH levels as well as leaving it felling refreshed and clean and this one certainly leaves it feeling fresh, with the scent of the sea it produces mixed with the refreshing cool mist it produces.

I use this product by spritzing it on my face and either using clean hands or a cotton pad I wipe away any dirt and settle the product on to my skin.

It contains 12 ingredients which again can all be found on the LUSH website with what it does. But here are some of the best ones:
Fresh Sea Water contains lots of minerals as well as lots of dissolved natural elements like oxygen, magnesium, nitrogen and of course sodium chloride (salt) the minerals in the sea water is what balances the pH of the skin and also keeps it from looking tired and dry.
Organic Fair Trade Aloe Vera Gel, we have all experienced sun burn at one time or another and that is when our mother brings out the aloe gel and it cool sensation soothes the burn and this is exactly what it does in this product.
Seaweed Absolute has anti-inflammatory and soothing properties. It contains vitamins A, C and E which adds further nutrients to the body.

This product is great for the sunny months as well as the cold ones. It does your skin a favour and feels amazing in the skin.This is also suitable for vegans and the bottle is recyclable.

A 100g bottle costs £3.95 on the LUSH website.

Link to the product here https://www.lush.co.uk/products/breath-fresh-air

Happy Hippy Shower Gel

This shower gel smells absolutely phenomenal. Its zesty smell makes it perfect for waking up in the morning but its also perfect for calming the senses before bed, and as I like to think of myself as a bit of a Modern Age Hippy then this is just perfect.

I think these gels are perfect for keeping in your overnight bag or when you want to go travelling. I keep it in my overnight bag as I can use it as both a body wash as well as a hair treatment saving so much room. It lathers so nicely in the hair and I always get compliments on the smell of my hair when I use it, it's crazy.
Another shower gel of lush's I recommend is 'The Olive Branch' very good for nourishing the hair and body.

It contains 14 ingredients one of which is Fresh Pink Grapefruit Juice. This juice is acidic with antibacterial properties making it perfect for people with acne and oily skin. The smell is also used in aromatherapy to refresh us as it is said to remind us of the suns energy, so basically good smell to wake us up in the morning (but I also find it soothing).
Another ingredient is Frankincense Oil this contains products which cause it to ease breathing, be antiseptic and astringent. It produces a sort of protective film over the skin evening out fine lines and softening the skin.

This product is also 100% vegan and the bottle is 100% recycled and you are able to recycle it at your local lush store.YAY environment!

This product retails for £3.50 for a 100g bottle on the lush website.

Link here https://www.lush.co.uk/products/happy-hippy

No Drought Dry Shampoo

This is, with no doubt, one of my absolute favourite LUSH products. It leaves my hair feeling refreshed, smelling amazing, voluminous and all with no white marks and very little build up. As well as all this it seems to last forever. This product is truly amazing.

It doesn't come in a spray can like most which are not only bag for the environment, but they are so concentrated they leave my hair white and slightly damp and it wears of very fast leaving lots of build up. This is the best one I have ever come across.

It contains 10 simple ingredients. One of which is cornflower, this is the product which absorbs all of the oils in the hair, simple and effective. Another ingredient used is Lime Oil, this is what gives the product it's incredible scent. I love zesty aromas! As limes are also astringent it make the hair look shinier by actually making the hair shinier. It helps to boost circulation which it can help with flakiness of the scalp. It also contains vitamin C protecting the skin against harsh environments.

Need I say more! This product is amazing. Vegan and again the bottle is recycled and it can be recycled at a LUSH store!

A 50g bottle (which lasts forever might I add again) retails for £3.75 on the online store.

Link here https://www.lush.co.uk/products/no-drought

I love LUSH products, I love their ethics, the care they put into there products and also the quality of their products. But I will never lie about what I think of a product. These are my 100% truthful opinions of these products.

Peace, Holly. 

Marriage??

So recently I was asked by an elderly man if I wanted to get married. As I was working when this was asked I couldn't give my what would normally be opinionated answer so I just said 'I don't know I don't really see the point in it any more.' Again I was given the old speech which I get every time I give that answer 'but its more of a commitment' followed by 'you can't just walk away after an argument' again followed by 'and definitely better if there are children involved' and all I wanted to say was 'bullshit...bullshit....bullshit!'.

Please don't think of as hating on people who do get married everyone has there own reasons but I don't see how anyone should think of a partner as any different to a married couple.
I argue this point because of many reasons and it will probably be easier for me to organises my mess of thoughts in list form. Everyone loves lists right?

1. Materialism

Now this isn't really a reason I don't want to get married but it is a reason why I kind of don't look upon it as a true 'commitment'. Marriage was originally put in place as in exchange of women for land as women weren't allowed to buy land at the time. That eventually moved on to people marrying so the women could pop out babies and look after the children and then it moved on to be about love. But these days it seems to be more about who can do it the biggest and the best. I seems to be focused on how much the ring costs or how expensive the dress is or who can throw the best party. Young girls grow up wanting there end goal to be married with kids, they start thinking about what to name there children from the age of 8 and designing there wedding when doing arts and crafts. They don't think about the person the would like to spend the rest of their life with, they just think about the glamour which goes along with this socially constructed thing we call marriage.

     2. Children

Is it really better for the children? I have witnessed divorce with children involved and I have seen the end result of a partnership end with children. In divorce the children seem to be more used as a weapon for money or as a weapon to hurt the other person and because in a marriage you have to go through this long and unfair process the children experience more pain as most couples will only go through this process if absolutely necessary. Yet in a partnership it is between two people, there are no solicitors involved, money belongs to the person who earned it. The children are less likely to be used as weapons for money and hurting the other person, and as it isn't such a process to get out of a partnership there is less pain involved so it is more likely to end on good terms. I have witnessed this happen and the couple involved and their new partner/wife get on so well which was good for the now grown up children in these circumstances.
So for me after seeing both these happen its hard for me to believe it is ever better for children involved to have a better life when the parents are married compared to when they are not.

   3. Old fashioned traditions

Sex with in marriage and children within marriage and last names! WTF! People still believe these today and it absolutely baffles me. What if it ends up that you and your partner are completely not sexually compatible, you are unable to experience that intimacy that every couple should have and now you are tied together in this socially constructed made up thing called marriage and its a long and laborious process to get out of. And then with children! There is absolutely no evidence what so ever that proves that children conceived inside of wedlock compared to ones outside of wedlock are any more happier, are any smarter, are any more creative, make any more money, live more fulfilling lives than the other. And the old taking the mans name thing! Like seriously you are willing to lose your whole connection to your ancestors and take someone else's name, and then you are considered family, now I don't know about you but all I can think about when couples call them selves family is 'please tell me you're not cousins'...just me...okay.

I don't think marriage is relevant in this day and age, women are allowed to own property. Commitment can be expressed as much through a long term relationship as a marriage. Marriage doesn't mean you love a person more than people in a long term relationship. All it means is that you either have religious values which favour marriage which is absolutely fine if its your choice, your you simply prefer the idea of being married, that's fine to. But please don't force these views on someone who doesn't care for it. Don't see 'get married all ready' or 'when is the wedding' after they have had a child.

Just accept peoples values, feel free to express and opinion, but understand the other persons choice.

Holly.

You do you!

You do you! This has become one of my favourite quotes recently. I am thankful that I live in a society where for the most part you are allowed to express yourself freely. You can be gay, lesbian, a complete tree huger, religious and for the most part people won't judge you. But a lot of people are not that lucky, where they grow up in societies where you have to be a certain religious group, you have to wear certain clothes and you have to hide your real sexuality.

I have never really understood why people judge other peoples lives when it doesn't hurt them or effect their lives. I don't understand why some extremest Christians like people from the Westboro Baptist Church feel the need to force their religious views on others by picketing outside of fallen soldiers funnels saying they deserve to die. Picketing on the streets and out side concert venues preaching against homosexuality.

I am all for freedom of speech however I just can't comprehend how human beings are so willing to do this. Some say it because they love us and want us to repent our sins so we do not end up in hell. But I just feel sorry for them they have grown up in a society where it is normal to hate people who are a bit different, imagine how hard it would be if your whole life you where subjected to think a certain way and how hard it would be to be open to a different view. This not only goes for homophobia but also for religion. People are forced to believe things they don't or are subjected to views and are unable to search for other views. I was very lucky as a child, my parents never Christened me or my brothers. There mind set being that when I am old enough I will be able to make that decision. People growing up in places like Saudi-Arabia where they have to follow a certain religion, women have to dress certain ways in public whether they want to or not. Some people may think that we have reached freedom, but if you dig a little deeper there are still people hiding in fear of their govenment, of their families, of what other people may think. It is very hard to change the opinion of people set in their way, but the people we can help who are trapped in these forceful societies we still can. Be yourself, you do you. There is always light at the end of the tunnel you just have to look for it. 

Holly. 

My life is changing

This blog is a bit like a diary for my. I am quite a closed of person this is because I like the idea that in your mind you are completely a loan, its all your thoughts, all your ideas, your own little world inside your head, so this blog kind of gives my the freedom to express my feelings to people close to me and people I have never met.
This last month my life has completely and utterly been turned upside down, it wasn't even much of a transition. I was pushed straight into this world wind of emotions, activities and just a different perspective of life. To put it bluntly I met an incredible person in the weirdest circumstances and since then I have felt like nothing else matters but this person. I will follow them to the end of the earth. But this came at a cost, I had to hurt some people I was very close to, I have to rebuild a few relationships and it is still very much a working process, it hurts, there where tiers and there still are sometime. But this person I met just makes everything seem completely irrelevant. The feeling i feel are impossible to describe, I just know that my life will never be the same again.
I was told very recently that sometimes we have to let life take its course and stop trying to control it, so we can gain new opportunities and I couldn't agree more. We are all on this journey called life, all 7 billion of us and although we will not all meet each other we all touch others lifes, and that needs to be respected, never go out to hurt someone, go out an try to make people happy because in the end we all end up in the same place in the end whether that be heaven, hell, limbo, another life, oblivion. All that matters is that we take what we have now and grasp every opportunity with two hands and let it take you somewhere amazing. There may be hurt, heartbreak and tiers but that's all part of the roller-coaster.
To the person who inspired this I love you, thank you for kick starting my life of which you are the most important thing.

Holly.